Warning: this story contains distressing content.
A forensic psychiatrist has told the High Court that Lauren Dickason was horrified by vivid visions of harming her children the month before she killed them.
Dickason is on trial in Christchurch for the murder of her two-year-old twins, Karla and Maya, and six-year-old Liané in Timaru in September 2021.
She denies the charges, and is instead seeking a verdict of insanity and infanticide.
Forensic psychiatrist Dr Susan Hatters-Friedman, who spoke to Dickason four times this year in April and May, gave evidence in court today.
She said Dickason told her that in August 2021, she had "bold and specific" visions about harming her children that terrified her.
"She explained that these had 'popped into her mind' and she had no intent to act on these visions. She said they felt so real.
"She told me that it felt like a devil on her shoulder with self doubt in the weeks prior to the alleged offending, that she was not a good enough mother, and constantly worried 'are they going to be safe, what happens to them if something happens to us'?".
Dickason's defence have told the court she was severely disturbed by ongoing postpartum depression. They argued that the night Dickason killed her children and tried to take her own life, she was mentally unwell and acted with an altruistic motive.
Her defence team said she did it out of love, because she did not want to leave them without a mother.
Hatters-Friedman said suicide and infanticide were seriously concerning risks of postpartum depression.
"Mothers who are suicidal are also at risk for infanticide. Such women may plan a so-called extended suicide with the altruistic belief that their infant is better off in heaven with their mother than remaining alive and motherless, in what the depressed mother sees as a cruel and uncaring world."
She said there were cases of altruistic filicide where the parent intended to die but did not.
Hatters-Friedman became emotional in court and held back tears while describing Dickason's account of her relationship with her daughters.
"She said that the children were very intelligent. Liané loved unicorns and fairies and painting. Karla was sporty and liked to play with a ball. Maya was 'a little daddy's girl, stuck on him like velcro'. She said that she was very active with the children on trampolines, or bikes, or at a park."
The Crown is arguing Dickason acted out of frustration, despair and tiredness, and knew her actions were morally wrong.
The trial continues.
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