Photo: NIWA
In 2022, Reon Wikeepa was swept out to sea in a rip and drowned after saving his 16-year-old daughter at Mount Maunganui.
Kiwi dad Seti Tuaopepe drowned in 2023 while saving his children who had fallen off a paddle board while at a lake beach in Sydney.
Army veteran Wairongoa 'Magoo' Renata gave the ultimate sacrifice in 2018, helping get his kids and other relatives to safety on a Northland beach before succumbing to the ocean himself.
"In the morning, everything was fine, but by the afternoon, everything had changed. That one incident changed my life," said Renata's partner Leigh Alerbert in 2023 when public flotation devices were installed at some Northland beaches beaches. "The mental health effects on my children and my niece and nephew who were also present that day have been huge."
There are countless more examples of fathers in New Zealand and overseas rushing into the water to save their kids, but drowning in the process. No doubt those children are left to battle both grief and guilt.
About 80 percent of drowning deaths in 2023 were men. Of the 23 New Zealanders who drowned trying to save others in 2022, 70 percent were men.
"There's a natural instinct as a parent to rescue your children or someone else's children," said Nicola Keen-Biggelaar, the chief executive of Drowning Prevention Auckland. "Unfortunately, people overestimate their ability in this situation and they underestimate the risks that they're actually taking."
Public rescue equipment demonstration at Muriwai Beach. Photo: Drowning Prevention Auckland
The key to returning safely from a bystander rescue is bringing a flotation device. There have been no bystander rescue drownings when a flotation device has been used. On the flip side, every person who died in a rescue attempt between 2012 and 2022 did not have a flotation device, according to the Water Safety New Zealand DrownBase,
Ideally, that is public rescue equipment like an orange rescue ring, but it can be anything that floats-a chilly bin lid, a beach ball, an upside-down gumboot with air trapped in it.
"Anything that provides flotation is going to dramatically increase the opportunity of survival for both the person who is being rescued and also the bystander that's jumping into help, which is often a family member."
The 4 R's of bystander rescues advise rescuing from a boat or land by throwing a flotation device at the struggling swimmer. If in the water, then keep the flotation device between yourself and the person you are rescuing.
"If you are approaching a patient who is panicking, if their life is flashing before their eyes, they will grab a hold of anything to save their life and that includes you," said Andy Kent, the general manager of Surf Lifesaving New Zealand.
Children practice how to throw a rescue ring with Drowning Prevention Auckland. Photo: supplied
Surf Lifesaving New Zealand is planning to install more public rescue equipment at beaches around New Zealand with instructions on rescues.
It's hard to believe that even the fittest and strongest don't survive a rescue attempt. Sonny Fai, who was 20 and a star player for the Auckland Warriors lept in the water at Te Henga Bethells Beach in Auckland to save his brother and cousins. They returned alive to the beach but Fai's body was never found.
"Preserve your energy because eventually what kills you is getting tired, losing energy and drowning," said Kent.
For those caught in a rip in a bystander rescue (or in general), floating is the best response, while raising your hand to be rescued by lifeguards if they are patrolling. Rips don't suck you miles out to sea or pull you under. They circulate the water in and out of the beach.
"...if you stay afloat, you will be circulated around, perhaps to a sandbank where you can stand up," said Kent.
He advised those who doubted their ability or who didn't have a floatation device not to go in. Instead, they need to call for help by ringing 111, but a person can drown in about a minute so seconds can count. Realistically, a parent or family member is unlikely to wait.
"It's a hard position to be in," he said.