A survivor of abuse at the hands of the Catholic Order of St John of God says alcohol dulled the pain.
Marylands School is on the left of this image with the orphanage on the right. Photo: Supplied / V C Browne & Son
He has given evidence anonymously before the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care.
Referred to only as Mr D.A, he was sent to the St Joseph's Orphanage in Christchurch at the age of three, and at the age of 11 in 1955, he was transferred to the neighbouring Marylands School.
He enjoyed his time at St Joseph's and even had a chance to sing with the Vienna Boys Choir, who toured New Zealand and stayed at the orphanage, he said.
He also sang in the choir at the Cathedral.
But his time at Marylands was a different story.
''I got interfered with as soon as I got there.''
Brother Thaddeus started to groom him and told him he wanted to be his "special friend", he said.
''Special friends don't molest each other.''
However, t the age of 14 he discovered alcohol.
''It made me relax. I got high and I didn't have to think about anything. With alcohol in my system I couldn't care less what he did. It eased the pain.''
At 16, he was classed as incorrigible and shipped off to the Stanmore Road Boys' Home, also in Christchurch.
''They were just as nasty. It went from a bad situation to a worse situation. Thank goodness there was alcohol around."
He had a mental breakdown and was sent to Waikari Hospital in Dunedin.
''They had, unknown to me, decided in their wisdom the best course of action instead of drugs was shock treatment. It just made things worse.''
After being discharged he tried to drown out the bad memories flooding him by returning to alcohol, but it did not work.
He started smoking cannabis and using other drugs, as well as seeing psychiatrists to calm him down.
But his life then took a turn for the better on 27 February, 1982.
''I had been drinking all day in the Robbie Burns Hotel in Dunedin. Walked out and have never been back. Joined AA. Came back to Christchurch and got on my feet, came off alcohol and shared a flat for 14 years .''
He went back to the Catholic Church, but it did not seem to do him any good, he said.
However, he then attended services using the old Latin Mass, which he found comforting.
He got a job as a taxi driver, which was a good job, but had to give it up after suffering black outs.
After getting treatment, it was decided he needed to go into a rest home.
It was then, he said, what he thought was impossible happened.
He fell in love and got married.
"She taught me how to love again."
One of the Royal Commissioners, Ali'imuamua Sandra Alofivae, told Mr D.A the tremor in his voice and the way he was able to describe his journey spoke of how long and harrowing it had been for him over the decades.
''For you to be able to find love now in your latter years is a small reminder that there is still some goodness and that you are a very worthy person.''
Like all witnesses coming before the inquiry, he was brave and courageous, she said.