Sam Pilisi Photo: Supplied
If 'a burden shared is a burden halved', what is the burden of service?
The first of its kind research is exploring 'the cost of service' on Pacific populations.
University of Auckland doctoral candidate researcher Asetoa Sam Pilisi said there is a cultural burden to care for family which can come at the cost of our mental health and wellbeing especially within Pacific communities.
"What is the actual cost of serving others because that's culturally expected?" - Asetoa Sam Pilisi
More than 1100 people participated in a survey posing the culturally controversial question: "Is it selfish to look after yourself?"
Pilisi said the act of "service" for Pacific people tended to nett cultural credits but is sometimes at the expense of other areas of their life, including personal, physical and mental wellbeing.
"Many of our Pacific people are collective in nature. It is a strength but where are the opportunities perhaps to also look at our personal needs."
"You have to ask the question about how much is too much? What is the actual cost of serving others because that's culturally expected, even at your own expense...you can't give from an empty cup."
Working with a steering committee from the Pacific community, Pilisi was acutely aware of posing a question that struck at the heart of Pacific cultural practice.
Some felt that he was imposing a Western lens on the lived-experiences of the Pacific diaspora.
"We're asking people to stop and take an inward look at ourselves," he said, a practice he acknowledged was outside of Pacific peoples' norms because the focus is on the collective rather than the individual.
Photo: RNZ / Rebekah Parsons-King
Pasifika Mental health group Le Va's co-chair Josiah Tualamali'i welcomed the research.
He said there needed to be more studies on Pacific populations for cultural shifts to happen.
"I am the product of the Christchurch Pacific community and I do try to practice taking time for myself."
He said caring for family, friends and community could be a lot to manage and that it was about balance and taking time to rest and recharge.
"Our families deserve the best of us. So we don't need to keep serving on empty. Let's make it easier for us to have breaks when we need it."
As someone whose life's mission is to serve his community, Tualamali'i was reminded by an elder about the importance of looking after oneself to avoid burn-out.
"I was told you need to become a Matua and be in it for the long haul.
"We need you to find how to navigate all the things you are juggling. It was quite a difficult challenge to hear but an important one that we have to think about for the collective wellbeing."
He said it would be an important conversation and point to reflect on for families in the lead up to Matariki, the Māori New Year (28 June).
However, Pilisi acknowledged for some, rising to the challenge to help others was driven by markers at the other end of the spectrum, such as shame and stigma.
"So we will do something out of fear, out of shame and not being stigmatised, not wanting to be ostracised.
"Guilt of not fulfilling collective responsibilities or letting others down can also be contributing factors."
Pilisi's PhD research findings will outline the financial, physical and mental cost of service on the survey recipients aged between 18-45, with official findings finalised in August.