Politics is pretty much a dirty word.
In fact there’s a book calling it just that, so the word won’t be mentioned again here because - let’s face it, either you don’t care or you don’t think it’s relevant.
So here’s the challenge: let’s do what strangers trying to mingle at a party would do and play a game to ease the awkwardness, get the trash-talk flowing and see if we can change your mind.
Photo: RNZ / Demelza Leslie
Never have I ever (said the P word)
The game is simple; if you have done what is said then you drink.
It doesn’t have to be alcohol. You can play with water (get hydrated!) or copy Ellen Degeneres and play with lollipop signs and celebrities.
Got your liquid ready? Let’s warm up with a quick fire round.
Never have I ever:
- brushed my teeth or washed my face
- gone to school
- used public transport
- taken a break at work
- thought ‘I need to get paid more’
- wondered where my food comes from
Yes, these are all P-word issues.
Tipsy and ready for something with a bit more detail?
Never have I ever… drunk a glass of water
Photo: Supplied
It’s meta! Cos you know, we’re playing a drinking game... Anyway, water is a big issue, from quality, to the cost of using it, to swimming in it, to who profits off it. Accordingly, it’s discussed a lot by MPs:
- One MP said they got a rash from kayaking in dirty river water
- the government was called out on its response to boil water notices in Havelock North and Dunedin.
- Charging bottled water companies and water used for irrigation has been floated as an idea. Farmers will be affected, with talk of flow-on effects like $18 cabbages (not likely, by the way), but Pump, owned by Coca-Cola Amatil, which gets water for free, probably won’t be.
- Real-life laws have been introduced on who should be involved when deciding to fluoridate drinking water.
So take a sip on that water (I’m sure it’s fine), and let’s move on.
Never have I ever... lived in a house
Your dwelling, whether you own it or rent it, is affected by those people in the chamber full of plush-looking green seats. Housing has been so over-talked about it’s almost as bad as the ‘P’ word but here are a few things that might de-glaze your eyes.
- Your house should not be damp, cold, or full of meth. Government legislation on insulation came into effect in 2016 but the opposition think they can do better. There’s also a bill about meth contamination (the bill has two other parts on who pays for damage to a house and whether you can complain to the Tenancy Tribunal about being rented a garage to live in. SPOILER: no, you can’t complain yet).
- MPs know it’s hard to buy a house and they fight about it all the time.
- Some people don’t even have a house to sleep in. MPs argue about this too; like how much is being spent on motels versus actual houses for people in need.
Never have I ever...thought about making a river a person
Thought it was about time we took a break from drinking. Chances are this one hasn’t crossed your mind, but Parliament actually did this earlier this year. Neat huh?
Another quick fire round on some of the more serious topics -
Never have I ever:
- thought about legalising marijuana
- known someone with mental health issues
- thought about LGBTQI rights
- wanted to protest with a sit-in
- thought forcing 16-year-old girls to marry is bad
- had an opinion on whether abortion is good or bad
- wanted to be able to choose to end my life if I get a terminal disease
- thought ‘it sucks to be poor’
Little bit curious? Maybe softening to the idea that you do care about some of those P-word things? Yes? In that case, one last one: Never have I ever thought how on earth do I vote? Drink! And click here.