Warning: This story contains details of sexual abuse and suicide.
Survivors of serial child sex abuser Ross Douglas Browne have told of the broken marriages, the drug addictions, jail time and ongoing mental torment caused by the former chaplain's abuse of them as young boys.
Browne sexually assaulted boys over a 15 year period at Dilworth School, between 1987 and 2002. He was the school's spiritual chaplain and a teacher of "Christian Living" and one of 11 Dilworth-linked men charged with historical sexual offending.
Only in 2020 did Browne's heinous acts catch up with him. He eventually pleaded guilty to 16 charges relating to 14 boys, some as young as 11 years old.
Today in the Auckland High Court he was made to face his victims before being sent to jail.
"What a disgusting human you are," one told him. "You are the lowest of the low, and you will forever be marked as a pedophile. The absolute scum of the earth.
"You will live the rest of your life in a hell of your own creation."
Survivor after survivor spoke of the destructive effects of Browne's calculated offending, while reading their victim impact statements.
"The abuse has led to my life being impacted to the point I don't parent my sons. I have no one to trust. And though I don't want to kill myself, I feel I'd sooner not wake up in the morning. I am now an angry person."
Others said the traumatising formative experiences caused them struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Some spoke of marriage breakdowns, some ostracized themselves from friends and family.
Some of these men became addicted to drugs or alcoholism "to numb the pain". One said he had a "deep and aggressive resentment" that derailed his life.
A mother spoke on behalf of her son, the victim, because the pain was too deep for him to even think about.
"He left [Dilworth] as an angry, bitter young man. He is now a drug addict and thief who has pushed everyone close to him away, including his mother."
One started compulsively gambling, several spent time in jail, and one boy was admitted to hospital shortly after the offending.
"He told his grandmother that he would rather die than continue at Dilworth, and fearful for him she removed him from the school. Less than a year later, he was committed to a mental health facility at Starship Hospital, having self-harmed and being diagnosed with major depressive episodes with psychotic features."
One man said he knew of others who had been abused at the school who had since committed suicide.
Another suggested there were more victims.
"Must be feeling lucky there's so few charges. Got away with a lot, didn't you?"
Browne invited boys he thought were gay to a special after school club he hosted, the agreed Summary of Facts read. Browne furnished a room next to his office with couches, computers and food. It was called "the Crypt" or "The Coffee Club".
"You targeted your victims, and groomed them to create an environment of apparent normality, in which to gratify your deviant sexual interest in boys," Justice Toogood said, describing the offending as premeditated and predatory.
Many of the victims were not just vulnerable due to their age, Justice Toogood said.
"Most of the boys attending the school came from families with broken marriages or solo parents, or they were orphans or severely disadvantaged. Many were emotionally vulnerable."
He thanked the men for bravely speaking up. But he said no jail sentence could ever reflect the damage Browne has done. He sent the 73-year-old Browne, who hobbled in and out with a walking stick, to jail for six-and-a-half years.
One of the victims spoke outside after the sentencing.
"Six-and-a-half years, where so many people have suffered for a lifetime, it doesn't really balance. But hopefully it's long enough that he won't be able to offend against anyone else ever again."
He said the sentencing helped him close a chapter in his life.
"For me I guess it was about some closure. Being able to say to him what he'd done and how it had affected me. And to support others, and be there for each other," he said, gesturing to the other survivors who also spoke.
"Shut him out, he's gone. And now we just work on our own lives. It still does affect me but I'm working on it."
Browne was one of 11 men initially charged by police with historical sexual offending at the school after a major investigation last year. The police have spoken to more than 150 students.
Three have now been sentenced after admitting what they did, with one more to be in January.
Three others have died since being charged, and four will go to trial next year.
In an apology to former students, Dilworth School has admitted it did nothing when students, staff and parents initially complained about Browne's behaviour.
Dilworth Trust Board chair Aaron Snodgrass said the school's response was inadequate and even when Browne was suspended in late 2005 and then asked to resign, it did not call in the police.
Snodgrass said the school failed to prevent abuse and failed the students and their families.
He said the school deeply regretted what had happened.
Read the school's full apology to former students.
Anglican Bishop of Auckland apologises 'unreservedly' to victims
The Anglican Bishop of Auckland Ross Bay said the church apologises unreservedly to Browne's victims.
He said there is no place for the offending within the Anglican Church and now the court process is complete, a tribunal will take place to determine Browne's standing in the church.
Permanent removal from the priesthood is one of the sanctions available following a finding of misconduct, Bay said.
Where to get help:
Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
What's Up: online chat (3pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 helpline (12pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-11pm weekends)
Kidsline (ages 5-18): 0800 543 754 (24/7)
Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
OUTLine: 0800 688 5463 (6pm-9pm)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.