Grace Millane's parents, David and Gillian Millane, arrive at Auckland's high court. Photo: RNZ / Dan Cook
This article discusses self-harm and sexual violence.
The mother of murdered British tourist Grace Millane says the family refuse to acknowledge her killer's existence.
Gillian Millane made the comments while speaking on The Extraordinary Ordinary podcast, where she discussed the life and legacy of her "amazing" daughter.
"She was like my best friend. We used to do so much together. She lit up a room with a smile. She was family orientated. Loved her two brothers and a little niece. She just was a joy. I mean, she was also a teenager at times," she said.
Gillian said 22-year-old Grace had wanted to travel to New Zealand since she was 11.
She came to New Zealand in 2018 on her OE and made international headlines when she disappeared in Auckland.
Her body was found in a bush in the Waitākere Ranges a week later.
Jesse Kempson was found guilty of her murder in November 2019 and was sentenced to life in prison with a minimum non-parole period of 17 years.
Gillian said the family refuses to use Kempson's name, or even acknowledge his existence.
"We never mention his name. Why do I want to give him any air time?" she said.
"I don't think about him. I don't care. I don't care what happens to him. He came into our lives and destroyed our family."
Grace Millane. Photo: RNZ / YouTube
On the podcast, Gillian also discussed the struggles she faced after Grace's death and the death of her husband the following year.
In November 2020, Grace's father David Millane died of cancer, after being diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma.
"When we went to the trial, which was the following December after Grace was taken, he was taken unwell, but we just put it down to stress. We thought he had an ulcer," Gillian said.
"So that ... was another disastrous Christmas and New Year, and he was taken into hospital...they started chemotherapy.
"Unfortunately, it was too late, it had gone to his brain, and he died in the November of that year."
Gillian said she had struggled to go on following everything that had happened.
"I was just in such a dark, lonely, lonely place, but then a chink of light just comes and you think I can't bring any more sadness on to my family. They've had enough," she said.
"You're sort of in a black hole...all of a sudden, there is a chink of light and the slightest tiniest, little pinprick - but it's a little bit of hope."
"You also get to a point where you realise that you're the only one that can get you out there."
A woman kneels next to candles and flowers at a vigil for Grace Millane at Civic Square Park in Wellington. Photo: AFP
Earlier this year, Gillian reached the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro on a climb to honour her late daughter and her husband.
Photos posted to Instagram showed her posing at the summit - 5895 metres above sea level - wearing long pants and a jacket, along with gloves, sunglasses and a beanie.
She was accompanied by her husband's brother Martin Millane, sister Heather Gammer and her friend Jason Bedding.
The group did the climb to raise money for White Ribbon, a charity raising awareness about domestic violence, as well as a local United Kingdom hospice and the charity Widowed and Young.
The man who murdered British backpacker Grace Millane failed to have his convictions dismissed for sexual violence against two other women.
Jesse Shane Kempson was found guilty of raping a woman in a motel room and seriously assaulting and sexually violating a former girlfriend at two separate trials. Photo: RNZ / Dan Cook
At the Court of Appeal, Jesse Shane Kempson's lawyer said the victims exaggerated their evidence because of the Millane case.
The now 30-year-old was found guilty of raping a woman in a motel room and seriously assaulting and sexually violating a former girlfriend at two separate trials.
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- This story was originally published by Stuff