WARNING: This story discusses mental health issues and may be triggering for readers.
John 'Boulder Shoulders' Fiu is an undefeated heavyweight boxer, but he can feel completely powerless when on the streets.
The wheelchair boxer has battled severe physical and mental health issues throughout his life, which may already be over if not for boxing.
Fiu is set to finally return to the ring after a long and tumultuous journey.
He will fight in a boxing event for people living with a range of disabilities, and he is hoping it can be a catalyst to grow adaptive sport throughout Aotearoa.
Wheelchair boxer John Fiu has a record of 18-0. Photo: Marika Khabazi
Born with cerebral palsy and down syndrome, he developed mental health issues at an early age.
"I have spasms on the right side, which means my whole right can shake then they can change over to the next leg. Which I have no control over."
As a result, Fiu was depressed and eating himself into an early grave.
"I'd be probably be at home eating and eating and eating and eating until I go to heaven. In 2012, I was in a bad space with mental health and ended up doing the things that I wasn't supposed to do."
After losing his mother in 2016, Fiu faced what he saw as the biggest fight of his life.
"I didn't know how to deal with it, I went to those dark places every single day.
"One that I recall was an induced coma ... I thought that was the end of me."
Fiu had always been a big fan of David Tua and discovered adaptive boxing through the former heavyweight champion.
Fiu has battled severe physical and mental health issues throughout his life. Photo: Marika Khabazi
It was through the sport he was able to gain a sense of purpose and belonging as well as overcome self-doubt.
"If you don't aim for a dream, then you'll probably go back into the dark place where I ended up for many years."
He found his saviour in the form of AJ Pouoa and Ryze Fitness.
John Fiu credits his trainer and mentor AJ Pouoa with saving his life. Photo: Marika Khabazi
"AJ is the one that saved my life. If it it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be sitting here with my five wheels, doing what I love. She has this angel touch, man."
Pouoa has been the driving force to getting Fiu his fights.
"He said I want to be the first [wheelchair] boxer in New Zealand to represent the country and it's taken this long to get it somewhere."
Pouoa is also living in a wheelchair after falling from a third-storey balcony in 2016 dislocating her spine, cracking her head, breaking her ribs and puncturing a lung.
An athlete who trained seven days a week prior to her accident, personal training was a natural fit and she soon began working with Fiu.
"Listing to his experiences, there is not much difference between us, we face the same discrimination and a lot of nos."
The pair have developed a strong bond.
AJ and John in his safe place, Jetts Gym. Photo: Marika Khabazi
Fiu has racked up an 18-0 record, but it has been a constant battle to find opponents.
"Even though we've had roadblocks, I've never stopped. I've kept on going. It wakes me up in the morning, it's planted in my head every day. I can't stop. I can't stop thinking about it."
Fiu said he has had many people tell him they could not help with his journey.
"I've had a few ups and downs, people saying that 'yeah, you're gonna fight' and then they drop out."
He has become better known for his nickname 'Boulder Shoulders' than John in his community.
"The first time I joined this gym I did some arm exercises and she [AJ] just came up with this nickname and ever since everyone in the wider community is calling me Boulder Shoulders."
Fiu will fight in an upcoming event for people living with disabilities.
"This is across all disabilities, visually impaired amputees, cerebral palsy, spina bifida, boxing doesn't disriminate, it's just the people that do," Pouoa said.
Fiu said he was aiming for worlds in 2024.
"I just can't be grateful enough that I have the opportunity to show my skills because there is no sport like [wheelchair] boxing in New Zealand at all. All over the world does. But New Zealand doesn't. So it's time for able-bodied people to come and support us as a disabled community."
Fiu is also fundraising for his own adaptive wheelchair unfortunately, no help has been forthcoming.
John Fiu requires an adaptive wheelchair to participate in international events. Photo: Marika Khabazi
"I've tried different avenues and different avenues say they couldn't help me. I've asked one of the Ministry of Health to give me a little bit of a hand but they said no."
Despite all the setbacks, Fiu will keep fighting.
"Even though it's hard for us to to do the things they do but for us, we can always adapt. I'm just going to keep fighting and keep wheeling every day."
Where to get help:
Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354 or text HELP to 4357
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or text 4202
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
What's Up: free counselling for 5 to 19 years old, online chat 11am-10.30pm 7days/week or free phone 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787 11am-11pm Asian Family Services: 0800 862 342 Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm or text 832 Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. Languages spoken: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese, Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi and English.
Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787 254
Healthline: 0800 611 116
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
OUTLine: 0800 688 5463 (6pm-9pm)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.