Conan O'Brien is Dr Aiden Archer AKA Dr Love. Photo: Instagram / Shortland Street
In 2014, Ed Sheeran graced our screens with the cameo of a lifetime - appearing on Shortland Street, as himself, jokingly scolding a young KJ Apa, and playing a few chords on his guitar before swiftly exiting stage left. The cameo was just 36 seconds, but it was enough to captivate a nation - and perhaps, begin a trend of international visitors stopping by Ferndale for a taste of the silver screen.
Some 10 years later, it was Conan O'Brien's turn. The US comedian and talkshow host appeared on New Zealand's prime-time hospital drama on Thursday night as Dr Aiden Archer, a visiting doctor from the US, self-referred to as Dr Love, and apparently, Dr Chris Warner (Michael Galvin)'s "bestest frenemy".
O'Brien appeared for just a single scene - filmed earlier in the year while visiting New Zealand - but it was crafted to near perfection.
Conan O'Brien attended the world haka record at Eden Park earlier in the year. Photo: RNZ / Screenshot
It all began with a txt to Dr Warner, read aloud to Dr Drew (Ben Barrington).
'Hey, general Archer's back in town' 'Your bestest frenemy?' 'He's taking over Boyd's surgeries. The eagle has landed.'
For full transparency, I hadn't caught a full episode of Shortland Street in about a decade, but it was surprisingly easy to jump straight back in. There was a nurse diagnosed with a glioma, two ex-partners being awkward after sleeping with each other, a looming court case involving a violent crime, and a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to listen to a true crime podcast to cope with being the witness to said violent crime.
Then, O'Brien entered the frame, for what can only be described as two minutes of pure, absurd genius.
'Watch it!' he said, disgruntled at a cleaner mopping the floors.
Dr Warner: 'If it isn't Dr Aiden Archer.'
Dr Archer: 'Chrissy Warner, it's been a long time.'
Dr Warner: 'What brings you down under?'
Dr Archer: 'Well, you know, a woman.'
Dr Warner: 'Of course.'
Dr Archer: 'They don't call me Dr Love for nothing.'
Then, exposition that could only be written for Conan O'Brien, playing out like a Saturday Night Live skit set in Ferndale. Dr Warner is bemused - but Galvin, he's on the verge of breaking.
Dr Warner: So uh, are you still jumping out of airplanes in your spare time?
Dr Archer: Yeah. I've also gotten into bears lately.
Dr Warner: Okay...
Dr Archer: Yeah. Literally gotten into bears. It's a lot of effort, sometimes they don't want to die, but there's something about the feeling of a bear's skin on my flesh that's just ... it's a rush.
Then the real magic happens - O'Brien delivers a minute of dialogue, which is just a mumbo-jumbo of medical jargon that may or may not be referring to real conditions.
Chris: Okay, um, well if you're still a doctor-
Conan: Dr Love.
Chris: I, uh, had a case I'd like to discuss.
Conan: Sure.
Chris: She presented with a persistent paresthesia in her fingertips post ulnar fracture. But-
Conan: You're thinking something else.
Chris: I know it's rare, but I'm wondering about-
Both: Hypoparathyroidism.
Conan: Yes. Unless of course it's pseudohypoparathyroidism. She has low serum calcium and high phosphate?
Chris: That's right.
Conan: But the parathyroid hormone level is disproportionately high in that case?
Chris: Yes.
Conan: I wouldn't wanna discount pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism. Radiologically and clinically the same as pseudohypoparathyroidism, but the serum hormone levels of parathyroid hormone and calcium are in that case, normal. Let's start with pseudohypoparathyroidism. Look for hypocalcemia hyperphosphatemia. Elevated parathyroid hormone levels. Can you do that?
Chris: Okay, yeah, after you.
Conan: Oh - patient's name?
Chris: Tracy.
Conan: Tracy ... I had a girlfriend named Tracy once. Ah Tracy! Hi!
And close scene.
Of course, Shortland Street is a beloved soap opera, so there was always going to be an element of melodrama. But I wasn't quite prepared for how this scene played out. The second O'Brien entered the frame, there was an unspoken agreement: This entire sequence is going to be bizarre and hilarious, and we're going to play it extremely straight.
It's clear O'Brien was game to deliver whatever was written on the page - and it's equally clear the Shortland Street writers had an absolute field day.
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