Opinion - I was astounded to see rugby league player Jarryd Hayne found guilty of sexual assault this week.
Hayne's guilt didn't shock me. I assumed that from the start. No, the surprise came from seeing a high-profile athlete potentially get what's coming to them.
Former NRL player Jarryd Hayne. Photo: Photosport
Hayne, once among the NRL's brightest stars, faces a custodial sentence after orally and digitally assaulting a woman without her consent in 2018.
Another rugby league star, Jack de Belin, continues to train with his St George Illawarra club, but remains unable to play due to five charges of aggravated sexual assault. The Dragons have steadfastly supported de Belin through it all, despite some pretty unsavoury evidence.
The New Zealand Warriors were even in contract talks with the former New South Wales forward, with coach Nathan Brown stating de Belin would be an "outstanding signing for the club".
How many people knew boxer Joseph Parker was the "high-profile sportsman" who kept being given name suppression in connection with a drug ring?
How many also know the identity of the former All Black who continues to enjoy name suppression, after punching a woman in 2019?
This is a tiny country, in which degrees of separation are minimal. We all hear stories about male athletes who've been up to mischief.
The common theme is that the sport or team or governing body closes ranks and we all carry on as if nothing happened.
Let's be absolutely honest: from the time many male athletes are in their teens, they've had their bad behaviour excused. They've treated women however they like and no one's pulled them up on it.
That's how you get to a situation where someone like Hayne has a taxi wait for him outside a house in Newcastle, where he assaults a woman and is then driven back the two hours to Sydney. He's drinking in Newcastle, he feels like fraternising, he makes a connection on social media and here we are.
De Belin, meanwhile, is out drinking in Wollongong. He and a teammate talk a woman into leaving a bar with them.
The 19-year-old woman says she was vaginally, orally and anally assaulted, while the two men say there was consent.
Never mind that de Belin had a pregnant partner waiting for him at home.
In a transcript of a subsequent phone call made to a New South Wales teammate, de Belin said he'd had a "bun" which he described as "standard". Bun is a slang term for group sex.
"I'm not too worried... I'm going to get off, it's just that my image is tarnished,'' de Belin said on the phone call.
How is it that blokes believe this kind of behaviour is acceptable? And why do so many of us turn a blind eye to it? Have we normalised this stuff to such an extent that fighter Israel Adesanya can suggest he'll "rape" an opponent and not face repercussions?
UFC fighter Israel Adesanya. Photo: Stephen R. Sylvanie
Imagine being a victim of this type of thing. Imagine having your life and sexual history paraded for all to see.
Think of the power imbalance at play in these instances. Of a lone woman up against an athlete and the machine that supports him and has indulged him for so long.
When it's he-said, she-said and the "he" is a hero, it can be hard for juries to reach a verdict.
The jury at the Sydney District Court found Hayne guilty on two charges, but not guilty on two others. The matter had previously been heard in Newcastle, where the jury was unable to return verdicts on the same charges.
The jury in de Belin's most recent trial was discharged after not being able to reach a verdict.
All of us can do better here.
When we seek to protect the reputation of a game or a club or a player, who are we hurting in the process?
Every time we guffaw at the tales of "a great tourist" we are reinforcing the belief that blokes are entitled to play up. That men should be admired for the notches on their bedpost.
These attitudes dehumanise women and can lead to the type of behaviour Hayne has been found guilty of.
Apologists often say that if you want devils on the playing field, you're unlikely to get angels off it. That these men need a release from the pressure and occasional danger of playing contact sports, in particular. Cobblers.
What these blokes need - and have needed since they were boys - is a reminder that they're mortal. That society's laws and norms apply to them too and that their behaviour won't be continually indulged.
The Hayne verdict is a start, but we've still got a long, long way to go.