Ben Bristow is analysing data from the study, which Jasmine Taare credits with helping her turnaround. Photo: RNZ / Jimmy Ellingham
For more than 15 years Jasmine Taare was a meth addict.
The Gisborne musician and early-childhood educator kept it a secret, turning to the drug to cope with life's difficulties.
Now, she's stopped using it and is part of a groundbreaking Tairāwhiti study into how people's brains and hearts recover from damage caused by its long-term use.
Taare told Checkpoint she was an undercover user.
Outwardly successful, she has won country entertainer of the year and was the first champion of Māori TV's talent show, Homai te Pakipaki.
No one knew the 37-year-old had a methamphetamine habit that sometimes cost several hundred dollars a day.
"I became a straight-up bullshitter to my family and especially my friends," she said.
"They knew me, but nobody could understand how they didn't pick that up. I was just good at covering it."
The harm meth does to communities is well known - an academic study last year ranked it only behind alcohol in the damage it causes.
She needed the drug to function and for motivation.
"If I didn't have it then I couldn't get out of bed or work, and stuff like that.
"I was undercover because, I guess, in society it's not okay to talk about things.
"That's just what it was for me. I didn't have anyone where I could just be like, 'Hey I'm going through things,' because it was frowned upon."
Mātai Medical Research Institute moved to its new location earlier this year. Photo: RNZ / Jimmy Ellingham
Taare had a beautiful upbringing from her loving whānau, she just lacked the tools to cope with trauma, such as losing family members to suicide, she said.
Striving to keep her drug use secret, she kept up a facade.
"It became really tiring because I didn't want to be portrayed in any type of way.
"When you think about meth users and you ask people here they immediately think you're out the gate - you can't trust them.
"I was actually high functioning and I was all good."
She kept working and making music.
Feelings of shame helped lead Taare's turnaround, which began more than a year ago when she entered rehab after seeking help from community advocate, the late Tuta Ngarimu.
The brains and hearts of former meth users are scanned at the Mātai Medical Research Institute in Gisborne. Photo: RNZ / Jimmy Ellingham
Soon after, she joined Mātai Medical Research Institute's study into the effects of meth on users' brains and hearts.
The Gisborne institute uses high-tech scanning technology to track about 20 people who have recently stopped using the drug.
Seeing the scans proved an eye opener for Taare.
They highlighted the damage meth had done, but also more recent signs of improvement.
"It's given me better knowledge about my body and how it's been affected," she said.
"I take my health quite seriously now, more than I ever had, since being a part of this study."
PhD candidate Ben Bristow will analyse data from the study. A Gisborne local, Mātai lured him home.
"I've always heard that Gisborne is the P capital of New Zealand and that it's easier to find P than weed around here," he said.
"I've never been exposed to that stuff. When I joined this study my eyes were opened to this world."
Initial results are expected next year.
In keeping with Mātai's kaupapa they will be communicated to the local community as well as academic journals.
Mātai research fellow Maryam Tayebi says it's hoped a larger study can happen in the future. Photo: RNZ / Jimmy Ellingham
Mātai research fellow Maryam Tayebi said based on the limited number of similar studies it was unclear what the results would be.
"We are interested in looking at what happens to their brain and heart during their abstinence period.
"Is there going to be a recovery? If there is, which part of the brain and heart will be recovered and which part will not?" Tayebi said.
Damage among users was likely.
"It is serious, especially in the long term when it's chronic, when it happens for many years.
"That's one of the reasons that I did this study, to see if serious damage exists and if there is a chance that some part of it can be reversed."
She hoped the study could expand in the future.
Taare is doing her best to publicise the research, and hopes sharing her experiences will affect others positively.
"It's actually really inspiring and empowering to be a part of this research.
"It's given me so much hope for my life as well knowing that there are ways to help when you've had addiction for the majority of your life.
"It's changed my mind to be positive in so many ways and I have a new outlook on life."
Now she's off meth Taare's still writing songs and making music, and she's free of the burden of secrecy.