State needs to 'decide that the cycle of abuse will end with us'

By Karah Mackie*

On 24 July, the Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry's final report will be made public by the Government. Ahead of the report's public release, survivors share their hopes for the healing process ahead.

First Person - You are exposed to the worst parts of humanity when you grow up in care.

Everyone knows that abuse in care didn't just stop in 1999 - there wasn't just a magical line drawn that meant no one was ever being abused again.

I want to make it clear that even though the environment of care has changed since 1999, the abuse is still very much there.

There is a whakataukī that is relevant to the whole process around the Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry: Titiro ki muri, kia whakatika ā mua - look to the past to proceed to the future.

The reason that I was put into care was essentially because of the consequences of my mother's own experiences of the care system. She was never supported to address the experiences she had growing up or the abuses she suffered whilst in state care. If she had had support, therapy, some type of redress, I think it's really likely that myself and my siblings would have remained in her care.

I get the feeling that the government doesn't fully comprehend what it means to be a survivor of the system and abuse in state care. They don't seem to understand that this pathway is a cycle that often leads to victims becoming perpetrators in some way.

You are exposed to the worst parts of humanity when you grow up in care, because you are growing up around abuse and you don't know any different. The blueprint that you're given on how to navigate this world is solely one of how to survive it, and when you're running on survival, there isn't often space for morals.

For me, being able to connect with the tuakana survivors throughout the process of the commission has really helped me, it helped me understand my own mamae (pain) as well as better understanding the collective mamae held by care experienced rangatahi.

A lot of survivors end up living with some sort of guilt because they know they've done some things that aren't tika (correct/right) that they had to do at that time to survive. I've seen and grown from being able to be around tuakana who have been able to hold space with themselves and others for both accountability and compassion, to reconcile who they've had to be and what they've had to do, and understood that that's not where they are now.

That is the lens I have been trying to approach abusers with. It's unpacking that cycle of abuse that is so deep within our community that is so important. It's this necessary kōrero you have to have with yourself and we have to have with each other.

Read more on The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care:

• State care was a lie - it didn't happen
• The future of our Disability Support System should heed the lessons of past failings
• The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care: What you need to know

Plea for 'survivor-led response' to implementing report's recommendations

The government needs to acknowledge that abuse is often what pushes someone into the life that they live. The state needs to acknowledge the hurt, be accountable, and decide that the cycle of abuse will end with us.

But right now I've only seen mixed messages. The government has been really supportive of the inquiry process, but they are making decisions that affect rangatahi in care right now, and those decisions aren't matching up, or showing us that they actually understand the negative impacts these systems and institutions have on our communities.

The policies that are being implemented at the moment - such as cuts to Oranga Tamariki and the reintroduction of boot camps - are recreating the context in which abuse in state care was allowed to flourish, rather than acknowledging people's lived experiences and choosing to make change so abuse in care can't continue to happen.

As someone with a pretty big stake in the government's response to this report I am wary.

I really want and hope to see a redress system that acknowledges and responds to the severity of the experiences that people had and is actually tika (true) to understanding the process of healing needed for our community.

What I think is important is that out of this survivors have a space to share our kōrero to determine what happens next, and that the government is able to listen to that and āwhina (support) our community correctly.

Doing what we can to support whānau and prevent rangatahi from entering care, is really important. So much of this starts and ends with poverty. So is resourcing community structures so that care is more localised and pono (true) to the people it is supposed to be serving.

I would like to see a survivor-led response to implementing the recommendations of the report. Te Roopū Toiora is a survivor collective that is creating spaces for people to go through that journey with each other, and venture into the space of survivor-led healing. There is such an under-representation of those kinds of spaces, of actual survivor-led healing or redress.

Survivors must be given the agency and the respect they deserve to figure out what is right for their community - and the autonomy to provide that āwhina to each other. That's what is needed now.

*Karah Mackie's story is one of intergenerational abuse; she is 24 years old, of Ngā Puhi whakapapa and is a survivor of abuse in state care.

Mackie is on the Board of the Survivors Experience Service and has been involved in research and engagement projects about abuse in care. Her experience in care, her professional experience and her time working with other young people in care systems puts her in a unique position to make recommendations for change.

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