Why is it so hard to find a good pair of togs?

By Niki Bezzant*

Opinion - I'm in a department store changing room trying on swimsuits and I can't move. The one-piece I'm attempting to get into is halfway up; the bottom half is on my body, but my arms are pinned to my sides by the top half. I can't get it up and I can't get it down, either. I'm literally stuck, and I can't stop laughing.

Were my sister not in the room with me, I probably wouldn't be laughing, because I'd be panicking that I might never get free. Luckily, the situation is resolved with some tugging and two sets of hands. I'll never know how I look in that swimsuit.

I'm here in pursuit of on-the-ground knowledge of the state of the swimsuit landscape. This comes from a conversation with my editor about the apparent lack of swimwear to suit bodies that are not model-like in proportion and/or under the age of 23. Plus, there's my need to replace my 10-year-old worn-out suit with something new.

It turns out that things have changed a lot in the decade since I last bought a pair of togs. The prevailing trend now seems to be for skimpy swimsuits (so skimpy that people are sometimes offended by them. Even when they're not cut to be g-string in style, it feels like they show more butt than in times past. Browse around online and you'll soon discover even a so-called 'classic' cut reveals more than it ever has.

This can be an issue for women who are not so keen to bare their cheeks on the beach (see: over 23, over a size 8). I try not to hate any parts of my body, and I don't hate my bum. It's got me through 54 years, it's OK by me. But I'd still rather not show it to the whole world in the bright sunshine.

My Instagram community - primarily mid-life women - is in agreement. "I want to swim and play at the beach. I accept my body in togs, but I want to cover my private parts!" pleads one woman. "I can't be bothered waxing. Togs with a low cut veering to boyleg would be great," says another.

One woman told me she'd even written to a swimwear brand: "They were advertising togs for every body, in a wide range of sizes. I suggested that women might not want to show their bums, but they were very insistent that that was what women wanted and I should take my delusions elsewhere."

When I mention this dilemma to a colleague, she tells me she and her book club had an hour-long discussion about how hard it is to find good togs, just the day before. "I don't want my bum hanging out," she agrees. "Is it too much to ask for something that isn't just floss?"

Compounding the problem: the opportunities for real-life swimwear shopping have diminished. A lot of swimsuit shopping is now done online, which is a pretty hit-and-miss affair. Often suits we like the look of from the front are disappointing on closer inspection of the rear. Even the models in the photos don't look great in some of them. My colleague texts me later about the emotional rollercoaster ride of online shopping.

"That's always my thought process... 'That looks cute, that looks cute' and then RAGE - it's cut up the bum. And/or it's got no boob support."

What women are seeking in the ideal swimwear varies, of course, from woman to woman. Some women are super comfortable in teeny suits. Others are looking for more coverage, which for them offers security, comfort, freedom of movement and confidence - important when you're as close to naked as you're ever likely to be in public.

Deborah Lewthwaite, expert swimwear salesperson and general manager of The Fitting Room (a specialist underwear and swimwear store with branches in Wellington and Christchurch), says it's rare to find a woman who's not even a little bit daunted by the idea of shopping for swimmers.

"People come trudging in as if they're going to the dentist," she says.

Lewthwaite says her fitters are as much psychologists as salespeople. They even have staff training to help deal with women's negative self-talk about their bodies.

"It happens particularly with swimwear. I think people are more self-conscious because they're going to be wearing it outside. And it can actually be quite hard for fitters, hearing a lot of that negative talk."

Lewthwaite says women can often be very focussed on one small part of their bodies, like a muffin top - which others barely notice. She tries to be encouraging.

"We're happy to give our thoughts. But ultimately people have to go with what they are going to feel comfortable wearing into the water."

While I'm trying on swimsuits at Hot Body, an Auckland swimwear store, I ask the very helpful salesperson where the trend for high-cut swim bottoms has come from. She tells me it's a design thing; if suits are cut larger in the back, it makes the bum appear larger overall.

Leaving aside the issue of what's so bad about a large bum, it's possible there's some truth to this, Lewthwaite reckons.

"Sometimes a boyleg style is what people think they want in their head. But then they put them on and go, 'actually no, that's not as flattering as this other brief that comes up a bit higher'. But there's still a happy medium between the really high cut and skimpy, and the more medium coverage."

She wonders if the trend for revealing swimwear might come from social media.

"People are enjoying showing more; they're more confident in their bodies maybe, in social posts?"

Lewthwaite speculates that the general trend of clothing overall being less modest than it used to be might also be at play here. We've got more comfortable and less prudish about showing our bodies.

She concedes, however, "that doesn't necessarily relate to what is most flattering".

A happy medium is, she stresses, possible to find, and she relishes helping her customers find it. She offers some tips for finding that holy grail swimsuit.

Take some time and try on a few suits, she says. "It's the only way you can know if they're going to suit you and look good."

For those of us in our 40s or older, she recommends a medium height leg as the most flattering, usually. "Don't go too low. And if you feel comfortable going high, go for it."

She also advises looking to what suits us in clothes. If you like high-neck tops, try higher-neck swimwear. If you feel great in a low-v neck, that could be a good option for togs, too.

For those needing bust support, "there are underwire swimsuits out there that are bra-sized, and it's well worth looking for them".

Lewthwaite says to look out for brands that produce trusted styles on repeat.

"If you see a shape that's common and it's in lots of different prints and fabrics, it's probably a winner shape. It's worth trying that one."

In my retail travels, it's clear the price range of swimwear is wide - from a $17 Kmart bikini bottom to suits that cost hundreds at specialist stores. The very nicest suit I try on is from a German label; it fits my short torso perfectly, doesn't dig in or sag out anywhere and though the bum is cut a little higher than I'm used to, it stays put while I'm doing my comical squatting and marching tests. It does, however, cost $399.

Lewthwaite says there is an element of getting what you pay for with togs.

"There will be differences in the quality of the fabrics and how long things will last and how quickly they'll fade and stretch," she notes.

There are also more brands producing suits in recycled and sustainable fabrics, which might cost a little more. And, she says, it's likely more work has gone into the design process in a pricier pair, so it's more likely to suit a range of bodies.

It is good to see that across all price points and despite the high-cut trend, there is in a wide range of options out there, including boy legs and even swim skirts. My Instagram wāhine provide me with a long list of useful leads.

An interesting thing happens in my head as I'm tooling around town trying on togs. I, too, go in feeling dread - I'm expecting this process to leave me feeling a bit less than in love with my body. I do have some of those feelings (harsh fitting room lighting does no favours). But after a while - and maybe after getting stuck in that suit that clearly has some kind of fatal design flaw - I start to feel acceptance again. There are definitely swimsuits that don't suit me. But when that happens, I don't blame my body. I blame the suit.

I do try on some uncomfortably 'cheeky' options. Somehow, though, after a while my perception changes. I slowly get used to seeing more of my own cheeks. They're part of me. It starts to feel okay. I narrow it down to a couple of tog options in which I'd be happy to be on the beach.

Lewthwaite says her customers often go through a similar experience, and can be pleasantly surprised to find swimwear in which they feel good.

The day after our chat, she emails me. She's been thinking about swimwear and body image, and she thinks it goes a bit deeper than just needing something to cover us.

"Body confidence is a big or small issue for most of us," she writes.

"There are a lot of paradoxes around bodies. You might have asked a bigger question that you realised."

*Niki Bezzant is a freelance writer, speaker, journalist and author focusing on health, wellbeing and science.

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