How Thanksgiving becomes a 'Friendsgiving' for Americans living in Aotearoa

Let's talk turkey.

This week, millions of Americans will gather around the table for their holiday Thanksgiving. But here in New Zealand, many Ameri-Kiwis who migrated here dish up their own spins on the annual feast.

Thanksgiving, celebrated the final Thursday of November, dates back to the earliest days of America's founding, and has its roots in harvest festivals worldwide.

But it's also a distinctly American holiday, which leaves some who live abroad feeling nostalgic for a meal filled with turkey, cranberries, stuffing, sweet pumpkin pie and other treats.

The solution for many is to make their own Thanksgiving, in organised get-togethers among strangers, special restaurant meals or just a casual dinner with friends, Americans and Kiwis alike.

"I throw a 'Friendsgiving' every year on the last Sunday of November," says Katie Dugan, a New Yorker who came to New Zealand eight years ago and lives in Queenstown.

"Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday because it's a whole day devoted to getting all your favourite people together, eating amazing food and reflecting on what you're thankful for - what a wholesome tradition."

It's also a welcome ritual for those who are a bit homesick.

"I probably got more into it here than I ever did in the states," says Susan Templer of Auckland, who came from California nearly 15 years ago. She puts on some form of Thanksgiving dinner every year.

Thanksgiving draws a lot of yearning from those living overseas. Immigrant social media groups are crowded with folks asking where to get certain foods or sharing recipes.

Templer, who is a moderator on the Americans Living in Aotearoa/New Zealand Facebook group, says "there's a lot of people who are trying to find out if there's something happening for Thanksgiving that they can go to".

"When I first moved to New Zealand I didn't realise how different the cultures would be and what an important role the themes of home and nostalgia can be to the human experience," Dugan said.

Dugan says she likes to open her doors to any Americans feeling a bit isolated on the holiday.

"Just by chance every year I end up having at least one American 'orphan' that is a complete stranger.

"The first year it was an American girl who was new to Queenstown and she posted on the Queenstown Trading Facebook page asking if anyone was doing a Friendsgiving she could join and that she made 'a mean cauliflower casserole'.

"A week or so had gone by with no replies to her post so I reached out to her and said that I was doing Friendsgiving that Sunday and she was welcome to join."

Stan Johnson is the treasurer of the New Zealand-American Association in Wellington, which regularly hosts a Thanksgiving dinner. The club was formed in 1947 to promote the relationship between the two countries and offers many socials and events.

"The most we've ever had is over 100 people," Johnson says.

This year's event was held last weekend. Attendance goes up and down, but events like this help bring the American community together, Johnson says. The American Club in Auckland, local American-themed restaurants and many others have also put on events.

It isn't always easy to host a traditional Thanksgiving dinner at home, as many ingredients are either wildly expensive or hard to source, although that has improved in recent years, and speciality stores like Auckland's Americana outlet Martha's Backyard help.

"My Friendsgiving meal always has to have turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie as the staples and then I leave the rest up to the guests to bring what they like to go with the meal," Dugan says.

"Kiwis tend to only eat pumpkin as a savoury dish so I love introducing my Kiwi friends to American pumpkin pie and blowing their minds that it can be a tasty sweet treat."

Traditionally, the centre of any Thanksgiving meal is a giant turkey. In Aotearoa, they're not always easy to find. They're not cheap either - a 5kg turkey costs around $80 at the local Countdown this week.

"Meanwhile my mother is telling me how Wegmans in New York has turkeys on sale for 29 cents per pound so the equivalent bird would be only $3.36 USD or $5.60 NZD there," Dugan says.

"As painful as the price tag is it's still really important to me to have a bit of tradition so I suck it up."

"There's a lot of adapting," Templer says.

Every US region has its own special dishes. One of Templer's friends dishes up an unusual concoction called 'pretzel jello' for the holiday.

"I make a great pecan pie and it tastes American because of the corn syrup."

Johnson says Thanksgiving gatherings can bring those living abroad together, with friends and neighbours standing in for family.

"Here it's kind of like your friends become your family because everybody's so far away," Templer says.

And while many Americans have happily settled into new lives in Aotearoa, there's at least one day of the year when it's nice to remember your roots, Dugan says.

"The concept of 'home' is very important to me as an immigrant.

"There's lots of little reminders in day-to-day life that I'm not 'from here' so to have a day that is focused on family/friends/community and feel at home in my adopted country is really special.

"It may be cricket on TV instead of football, summer outside instead of autumn and pavlova next to the pumpkin pie... But it's still a day of togetherness and gratitude."