A survivor of Lake Alice's notorious child and adolescent unit has been stuck in life-threatening limbo, waiting for a heart operation for the past 17 days.
Malcolm Richards was in hospital in Hastings, in need of a transfer to Wellington for a triple bypass.
The hold-up was proving stressful, he said, bringing back memories of Lake Alice, and prompting frustration about the continued wait for compensation.
Lake Alice survivor waiting for heart operation
"My counsellor and forensic psychiatrist are writing together to the Prime Minister about me now, because they're worried, because being in hospital is mentally hard," Richards said.
"It's a reminder of Lake Alice. I woke everybody in the ward up last night screaming in my sleep and gave the nurses a hell of a fright."
Shortly after he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, Richards rushed to Hawke's Bay Hospital's emergency department on 4 October with worsening angina symptoms.
He was admitted to the coronary care unit after a long wait in ED, then had a further wait for scans confirming he needed the triple bypass.
He would have to travel to Wellington for that, and had only been told on Monday he was pencilled in for 31 October.
Meanwhile, the 64-year-old worried about his cancer spreading, because his oncologist would not see him until he was recovered from the heart operation.
"The longer this takes, the less chance of battling the cancer," he said.
The situation was scary, and Richards said he was a victim of health system cost-cutting.
"I've had scans before I came in here to show that it hasn't spread beyond the prostate, but they couldn't give a full picture because of the cuts to the amount of biopsy samples they could take."
Hospital staff were treating him well, but his days were largely full of waiting and worrying, as any exertion gave him chest pains.
"I can walk around the ward, but if I walk 50 metres at a fast pace, I'll collapse. As long as I walk slowly and take a little bit of a rest in between, I'm allowed to walk around," Richards said.
Sent to Lake Alice as a teen in the 1970s, Richards was subjected to electric shocks without anaesthetic, among other abuse.
He won a case with the United Nations Committee Against Torture but, along with other Lake Alice and state abuse survivors, was yet to receive meaningful compensation.
"If I had of had my compensation I would have already been on the road to recovery, because I would have gone private. I would have paid for myself."
The government will apologise to victims of abuse in care in November and had indicated it was working on prompt redress for Lake Alice survivors.
In August, it announced rapid payments of $20,000 for terminally ill survivors of the Rangitīkei psychiatric institution.
Survivors' advocate Steve Goodlass had written to Erica Stanford - the minister co-ordinating the government's response to the recent Royal Commission into Abuse in Care - about Richards' plight, urging the government to act.
"For this to all be equitable, I think the government just has to stump up so Malcolm can be attended to privately and they just foot the bill, because to push into the public health system would probably create a bit of a fracas."
Under the UN Convention Against Torture, the government had obligations for redress, he said.
Although he now had a date, Richards' worrying wait continued, hoping his operation was not delayed and that he could see an oncologist inside the crucial three-month window from diagnosis.
"There was a person here who nearly died and they've flown him straight to the roof top of Wellington Hospital by helicopter and straight into the operating theatre.
"They wait until you get that critical until they do anything."
Stanford said she had spoken to Richards and passed on her best wishes for his recovery.
The apology to victims of abuse on 12 November would include more detail about the government's response to the Royal Commission into Abuse in Care, she said.
"I acknowledge the Royal Commission process has spanned six years and survivors would like to see action.
"The recommendations around redress are complex and it's important they are considered carefully."
Health NZ Capital, Coast and Hutt Valley group director of operations Jamie Duncan said it was not experiencing abnormal delays in admitting patients from other districts to Wellington Hospital for treatment.
Health NZ recognised it could be distressing for people to wait longer than expected to be transferred and admitted, he said.