Beri Cakal was supposed to have surgery this month, but it has been deferred indefinitely because of delays and cancellations at Christchurch Hospital. Photo: RNZ / Nate McKinnon
Beri Cakal has not eaten a proper meal for over a year.
She can only take sips of water and nibble on plain crackers or small white sandwiches after her bowel "fell apart" during emergency surgery and left her on the brink of death a year ago.
Instead, Cakal survives on a special liquid diet pumped straight into her veins through a feeding tube at home and wears two uncomfortable ostomy bags.
The 43-year-old was desperately looking forward to an operation to repair the damage this month, but surgery delays and cancellations at Christchurch Hospital mean it has been deferred indefinitely.
Cakal cannot bear the thought of another year of ill-health, discomfort and confinement.
"It's horrible. It will be devastating for me," she said.
"My life is upside down now. All my movement is in slow motion. All my freedom and confidence has gone. I just want to be normal again, eat and drink normally."
Cakal was admitted to hospital last March with stomach pain from a small bowel obstruction, but a bowel perforation during surgery left her in a coma for 29 days.
Doctors told her family she was not expected to survive.
"The first week my family was told to say their farewells twice, I had six major surgeries in 12 days," she said.
Against all odds, Cakal pulled through.
She spent 40 days in intensive care and a further two months recovering in hospital before her discharge last June.
While she waits for more surgery, her fluid intake is limited to 800 millilitres per day.
Her main sustenance comes from a total parenteral nutrition (TPN) machine she is hooked up to for 14 hours a day, from 5.30pm until 7.30am.
"I'm allowed to eat small bites, but no fibre, no raw food - just like cheese and crackers, some chips, small white sandwiches," she said.
"I'm from Turkey, I love food. It's another thing in my life I'm missing, just drinking water without stopping. Everything is limited, so I have a sip and stop, I have a bite and stop. It's quite depressing not being able to eat."
The liquid TPN formula costs around $9,000 per month, Cakal said.
She must also check her ostomy bags, which are stinky, uncomfortable and prone to leaks, every half-hour.
"I hate colostomy bags and I feel ashamed of my body, but they saved my life," she said.
"I cried almost every day because of my situation. My friends are meeting up, going to parties or overseas, but I'm stuck at home. I feel like I'm 80 years old at the moment. My life is on hold."
She has dropped to part-time work as a graphic designer because of her health.
Cakal's doctor Chris Wakeman said he could not promise her a date for a major bowel resection.
"She needs an elective procedure but Christchurch Hospital is now only basically, from a colorectal point of view, just doing cancer operations and we're postponing those regularly every week," he said.
"Someone like Beri, who doesn't have cancer, hasn't got any chance of having an operation here in the foreseeable future."
Wakeman said Cakal could potentially be referred to Auckland Hospital but there were no guarantees she would be able to have an operation there either.
"It's a failure of the medical system in Canterbury. It's always been hard to get non-cancer operations done, but we did manage. This is just a total free-fall for the state of our elective waiting list," he said.
"They're promising come Anzac Day that things will improve, but we'll have to wait and see."
Canterbury medical professionals have described a health system in crisis, with a chronic shortage of anaesthetic technicians exacerbating existing workforce problems.
Surgeons met health officials at Christchurch Hospital on Wednesday to discuss elective surgery waiting lists.
Te Whatu Ora could not say how many surgeries were being deferred this week.
In a statement, interim hospital and specialist services lead Lisa Blackler said it was difficult to measure how many operations were deferred because most were rescheduled rather than cancelled.
"For some specialities there is a 50 per cent reduction in their usual capacity this week, however we are aiming to deliver up to 70 per cent of our overall planned surgery this week - this does rely on having sufficient staff and bed resources each day," she said.
"This is being managed on a session by session basis to ensure all available resources are utilised."